It never feels like the beginning of a new year to me. Maybe I'm a weirdo or lack spirit. However, I actually had TWO new year's resolutions and so far have followed both.
The program I chose for my Master's degree tricked me. There's more to it and more hours than even possible to achieve. How I am going to become licensed as a professional counselor is beyond me, but I have come too far to turn back now. Someday I'll be doing exactly what I want - whatever that is.
I think people have gotten worse in the way they treat one another. I hate it. It saddens me so. I need out of this funk and away from this town with all these awful people. Although, it seems there are these type of people everywhere. Just so sad.
Short post, I have school work I should be doing
Have a wonderful day fellow bloggers!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The Playlist
I recently purchased an iphone. I absolutely love it. I am however afraid of causing it to function as slowly as my old phone did (which was the first original Droid and obviously not nearly as great as an iphone) but that's just the worry side of me showing its roots. A few years ago I thought that making a playlist called "sleep" with relaxing tunes from my itunes would help me sleep. I still have it and have added to it since then but I did finally break and at those 20 songs to my iphone. Just incase I'm somewhere without my ipod sometime and can't sleep? Not sure how my brain works sometimes but it has gotten me this far so I can't complain. It has been almost a year and I still find myself missing a certain someone in times of technical difficulties, even though I've become quite self sufficient over the last 11 months I must say. In more areas than just technology.
My nails are drying and I'm waiting to leave for my LAST DAY OF CLASS for the semester (yessss!!!!!!) incase that didn't express my excitedness, I am SO excited. However, it'll go just as fast as any other break and before I know it, it'll be time to purchase new notebooks and folders for next semester buying books that are $100 or more that I'll only use about 10 pages of. Then I'm sure for some strange reason I will feel the need to purchase my rented books for future reference or to fill my book shelf of my office where ever that may be someday!
My Dad, such an amazing man. He had 5 hours of chemo yesterday and went to work today. If there's anything in my life I've ever wished in my life it is that I am granted just a piece of him to carry on with me. Hopefully the part where he is the most unselfish person I've ever met in my entire life. No exaggeration and I can't even think of a time when he was just a little bit selfish, not one time. My other most important man in my life started his first "round of chemo" this Monday that just passed. He was sick too. Not as bad at my Dad normally is though, I've never seen anyone as sick as him. It's a miracle he was able to go to work today - he does however overdo it at times.
I'm ready to see my friend and reminisce. I'm ready to see my other friends too, I guess. I'm ready for the holidays, finally. The chill is officially in the air to stay and once New Years passes I'll be waiting for Springtime. Maybe I'll snow tube for the first time ever up at Seven Springs this year or maybe I'll go back to skiing. I did really enjoy skiing - hopefully my Dad can go. Least I get to wear my crazy winter scarves.
Music always works.. :)
Have a lovely rainy day everyone
My nails are drying and I'm waiting to leave for my LAST DAY OF CLASS for the semester (yessss!!!!!!) incase that didn't express my excitedness, I am SO excited. However, it'll go just as fast as any other break and before I know it, it'll be time to purchase new notebooks and folders for next semester buying books that are $100 or more that I'll only use about 10 pages of. Then I'm sure for some strange reason I will feel the need to purchase my rented books for future reference or to fill my book shelf of my office where ever that may be someday!
My Dad, such an amazing man. He had 5 hours of chemo yesterday and went to work today. If there's anything in my life I've ever wished in my life it is that I am granted just a piece of him to carry on with me. Hopefully the part where he is the most unselfish person I've ever met in my entire life. No exaggeration and I can't even think of a time when he was just a little bit selfish, not one time. My other most important man in my life started his first "round of chemo" this Monday that just passed. He was sick too. Not as bad at my Dad normally is though, I've never seen anyone as sick as him. It's a miracle he was able to go to work today - he does however overdo it at times.
I'm ready to see my friend and reminisce. I'm ready to see my other friends too, I guess. I'm ready for the holidays, finally. The chill is officially in the air to stay and once New Years passes I'll be waiting for Springtime. Maybe I'll snow tube for the first time ever up at Seven Springs this year or maybe I'll go back to skiing. I did really enjoy skiing - hopefully my Dad can go. Least I get to wear my crazy winter scarves.
Music always works.. :)
Have a lovely rainy day everyone
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The air has officially gotten its winter feel to it...
It makes it difficult to be motivated to do much of anything this time of year. I'm sure in a few days I'll be used to it when I finally stop being stubborn and put on a winter coat. For now, I'll risk catching a cold by only wearing two not so heavy layers.
Sickness has been taking a toll on my mood lately. I try so hard to remain positive and I am the weeks he isn't sick but, the week of is almost unbearable. I feel awful for my mother. Her other half, her partner, her rock has never been so fragile before. I can't imagine how she feels. We all have a different role and mine is the daughter, the only daughter. I'm helpless and I hate seeing him suffer with no way of making it better, not even just a little. Now, as of this year, the two most important men in my life have been diagnosed with this awful cancer that kills so many more people than I ever took the time to realize. Once it happens to you though is when you begin paying attention. That's when you notice the death rates and the news and obituaries - the devastating heartbreaking stories of these families losing loved ones to this monster younger and younger each day it seems.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a depressing blog. The trust I have for people has also left the building. My problem is I am too trusting and people take advantage. The ones I do trust are traveling or living far. We keep in touch but it's easier when they are here. People are so damn hateful, it's disturbing.
On a brighter note, I had two presentations yesterday with the most uncooperative people I've ever met in my entire life and they are FINALLY over. My first presentation wasn't bad and my partner was great. She's older and in her late 60s, awesome woman. My second group had five other people in it and I have never been treated with such disrespect by one of the members of this group - makes me wonder how they even got into the program in the first place - I mean it is professional counseling - be open minded here people! gesh!
I am finished with my rant..
If you're living somewhere cold, bundle up!
Sickness has been taking a toll on my mood lately. I try so hard to remain positive and I am the weeks he isn't sick but, the week of is almost unbearable. I feel awful for my mother. Her other half, her partner, her rock has never been so fragile before. I can't imagine how she feels. We all have a different role and mine is the daughter, the only daughter. I'm helpless and I hate seeing him suffer with no way of making it better, not even just a little. Now, as of this year, the two most important men in my life have been diagnosed with this awful cancer that kills so many more people than I ever took the time to realize. Once it happens to you though is when you begin paying attention. That's when you notice the death rates and the news and obituaries - the devastating heartbreaking stories of these families losing loved ones to this monster younger and younger each day it seems.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a depressing blog. The trust I have for people has also left the building. My problem is I am too trusting and people take advantage. The ones I do trust are traveling or living far. We keep in touch but it's easier when they are here. People are so damn hateful, it's disturbing.
On a brighter note, I had two presentations yesterday with the most uncooperative people I've ever met in my entire life and they are FINALLY over. My first presentation wasn't bad and my partner was great. She's older and in her late 60s, awesome woman. My second group had five other people in it and I have never been treated with such disrespect by one of the members of this group - makes me wonder how they even got into the program in the first place - I mean it is professional counseling - be open minded here people! gesh!
I am finished with my rant..
If you're living somewhere cold, bundle up!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Rainy Day
This will be short..
I actually changed my jeans today due to the rainy weather. It's days like this, I am more thankful for my ipod than usual. When I have all of these due dates and presentations coming up, I still find myself thinking of the irrelevant nonsense I always think of (people, sickness, 'what ifs'.. much more too). When I am aware of it and try to stop it, it only makes it more difficult to stop. For instance, this morning I had these huge plans on getting up early and coming down to campus to really get things accomplished, I was in bed until 11. I suppose though when it comes to the presentations, those are a group effort so I'll have to make the trip down here to campus at the most inconvenient time I am sure. I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm went off and turned it off. I was up 4 times before that.
I am happy that next semester will be my last full semester of classes, ever. Good feeling, even though I have a practicum and two internships following that, which I'm sure will be long and brutal reality of how unprepared I am to help people. However, on the other hand, I might be completely and entirely wrong on that one. Let's hope!
I have to thank my dear friend again for getting me to get my thoughts out there.. Lindsay, you're an amazing girl..
Well, as I have already said.. this will be short.. Class from 4:30-8:30.. Hoping I learn something meaningful
I actually changed my jeans today due to the rainy weather. It's days like this, I am more thankful for my ipod than usual. When I have all of these due dates and presentations coming up, I still find myself thinking of the irrelevant nonsense I always think of (people, sickness, 'what ifs'.. much more too). When I am aware of it and try to stop it, it only makes it more difficult to stop. For instance, this morning I had these huge plans on getting up early and coming down to campus to really get things accomplished, I was in bed until 11. I suppose though when it comes to the presentations, those are a group effort so I'll have to make the trip down here to campus at the most inconvenient time I am sure. I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm went off and turned it off. I was up 4 times before that.
I am happy that next semester will be my last full semester of classes, ever. Good feeling, even though I have a practicum and two internships following that, which I'm sure will be long and brutal reality of how unprepared I am to help people. However, on the other hand, I might be completely and entirely wrong on that one. Let's hope!
I have to thank my dear friend again for getting me to get my thoughts out there.. Lindsay, you're an amazing girl..
Well, as I have already said.. this will be short.. Class from 4:30-8:30.. Hoping I learn something meaningful
Friday, October 21, 2011
Nightshift
It's amazing how much time has gone by since I've actually taken the time to sit down and write (well in this case, type) exactly what is on my mind..
I have an amazing friend, Lindsay, who has finally FINALLY brought this side of myself back out.. thank you Lindsay.. you're more of an inspiration to me than you'll ever know..
I'm a little rusty so if some of these are hard to follow or you find yourself thinking, 'what the hell' I apologize in advance. Whoever is reading my nonsense, that is
It's 2am, nightshifts never seem to be easier than the last, probably because I only have one whenever I decide to take one. Before I get into the deepness, I have to get this out there because everyone who would find it funny is sleeping and I will forget by morning. My MacBook is running low on battery (mind you, I am sitting in the hallway on a couch cushion) and so just now I go to plug in my charger into the outlet beside me and it is of course broken, or well not allowing my charger to stay in without falling out. I have a copy of the DSM-IV-TR with me and for any of you psych majors reading this, it's a freaking huge book. It is the Bible of Psychology, 943 pages to be exact. I stood this book up against the wall beside me on top of my couch cushion to hold my charger up.. talk about desperate!
I've had my itunes on shuffle since I was finally able to start doing my school work. When I got here at 11, one of my clients was waiting for me, she likes me for some reason.. must be the sarcasm.. anyways.. when I got here I wasn't able to get right to work so I've had the itunes on for about 2 1/2 hours now.. some of the songs I think to myself 'why do you have that?' and yet I still don't delete.. my ears are starting to hurt, I need a good pair of old school headphones.. I wanted the beats by dre ones but I read some bad reviews.. any suggestions, let me know
Wow, I can tell I'm getting tired, I am ranting!
I have a huge take home exam in Advanced Abnormal Psych due on Monday and I am barely halfway done with it and I'm blogging instead. My middle name should really be Procrastinate.. and I mean that. Then on Wednesday I have a genogram due in Couples and Family Therapy, I need to tell my professor genogram is not a word because it's underlined here. I am sure she made this up, a genogram, really? It's like a family tree but in much greater detail. It explains relationships and family secrets. Oh, and I haven't started this genogram yet either and my family is not exactly small and simple either. So I've used the word 'genogram' four times now.. moving on
No matter how confused and down I feel about my life, I still always manage to get out of bed everyday and so I think that must mean something. Even though I don't always get out of bed around the same time, unless I have work, but at least it is something. Life is surely very challenging at times, and just when I think it can't possibly surprise me anymore, it does just that. I guess when life stops doing that is when I should be concerned. Regardless of my depressed phases and circumstances, I still smile everyday and am thankful. Even if I don't say it out loud and even if I am in one of my only say two words to everyone that loves me moods, I really am thankful and am still optimistic. I have a wonderful supporting family and a few great friends, a cute little loud dog and my life in my control.
Until next time..
Oh and I don't recommend nightshifts.. although, on a positive note.. it did bring me to blog and customize my page a bit! (green is my favorite!)
I have an amazing friend, Lindsay, who has finally FINALLY brought this side of myself back out.. thank you Lindsay.. you're more of an inspiration to me than you'll ever know..
I'm a little rusty so if some of these are hard to follow or you find yourself thinking, 'what the hell' I apologize in advance. Whoever is reading my nonsense, that is
It's 2am, nightshifts never seem to be easier than the last, probably because I only have one whenever I decide to take one. Before I get into the deepness, I have to get this out there because everyone who would find it funny is sleeping and I will forget by morning. My MacBook is running low on battery (mind you, I am sitting in the hallway on a couch cushion) and so just now I go to plug in my charger into the outlet beside me and it is of course broken, or well not allowing my charger to stay in without falling out. I have a copy of the DSM-IV-TR with me and for any of you psych majors reading this, it's a freaking huge book. It is the Bible of Psychology, 943 pages to be exact. I stood this book up against the wall beside me on top of my couch cushion to hold my charger up.. talk about desperate!
I've had my itunes on shuffle since I was finally able to start doing my school work. When I got here at 11, one of my clients was waiting for me, she likes me for some reason.. must be the sarcasm.. anyways.. when I got here I wasn't able to get right to work so I've had the itunes on for about 2 1/2 hours now.. some of the songs I think to myself 'why do you have that?' and yet I still don't delete.. my ears are starting to hurt, I need a good pair of old school headphones.. I wanted the beats by dre ones but I read some bad reviews.. any suggestions, let me know
Wow, I can tell I'm getting tired, I am ranting!
I have a huge take home exam in Advanced Abnormal Psych due on Monday and I am barely halfway done with it and I'm blogging instead. My middle name should really be Procrastinate.. and I mean that. Then on Wednesday I have a genogram due in Couples and Family Therapy, I need to tell my professor genogram is not a word because it's underlined here. I am sure she made this up, a genogram, really? It's like a family tree but in much greater detail. It explains relationships and family secrets. Oh, and I haven't started this genogram yet either and my family is not exactly small and simple either. So I've used the word 'genogram' four times now.. moving on
No matter how confused and down I feel about my life, I still always manage to get out of bed everyday and so I think that must mean something. Even though I don't always get out of bed around the same time, unless I have work, but at least it is something. Life is surely very challenging at times, and just when I think it can't possibly surprise me anymore, it does just that. I guess when life stops doing that is when I should be concerned. Regardless of my depressed phases and circumstances, I still smile everyday and am thankful. Even if I don't say it out loud and even if I am in one of my only say two words to everyone that loves me moods, I really am thankful and am still optimistic. I have a wonderful supporting family and a few great friends, a cute little loud dog and my life in my control.
Until next time..
Oh and I don't recommend nightshifts.. although, on a positive note.. it did bring me to blog and customize my page a bit! (green is my favorite!)
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